We're Engaged!! Now What?

Photo by Ryan Lucas Photography

Blog Pic | Ryan Lucas Photo

Hooray! You said "YES!" You've dreamed of the moment that he/she would pop the question and it finally came. Now what? 

Well, first, keep it a secret for a while.  

Whether for a few hours or a few days, you don't have to tell anyone right away. You can have a wonderful little secret between you two and keep that honeymoon phase train a rollin'. 

Because once you stop the ride to share with everyone, the questions start and the wedding planning "fun" begins. 

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Here is what you should first do after getting engaged: 

Choose a couple possible dates - or month or season 

This decision will set the stage, so to speak. Choosing a couple dates will give you some flexibility, if your perfect venue isn't available or if it is Great Aunt Suzy's 100th birthday, you are able to cross that date off the list. Choosing a month or season is even easier - just pray that this flexible attitude stays with you until the end of the planning process.  

Also, first question everyone asks - even before they ask about the proposal - is "So, when's the big day?" It’s awkward to no have an answer. Lucky for me and mine, I had two dates picked out before we got engaged - I have a 'thing' with numbers - I told Bean my two dates and told him I'd like a minimum of 9 months to plan. A simple "We were thinking about sometime in June of 2046. Yeah, we are sure about a long engagement" will suffice.   

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Photo by Evelyn Barkey Photography

Start Researching and Interviewing Vendors 

If you haven't already, get on social media and start following potential vendors. [If you're not engaged, but you know it'll be happening, you should do this too!] The biggest ones to follow: photographer and wedding planner. These are the two that you will be spending the most time with so make sure you like them. Your photographer should be someone you feel yourself around and have a compatible style. If you've got a moody, edgy persona, a bright, natural light photographer won’t produce what you will want. 

Same goes for your planner/stylist/coordinator: This person will be your PIC for this process - you will become friends by the end - so, follow their Instagram, check out their website, and take your time. Interview all your vendors, or just interview your planner and have them choose the vendors, whatever your preference. But you do not want to be 3 months from the big day and realize that you picked the wrong somebody.  

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Photo by Evelyn Barkey Photography

Choose a Wedding Style/Theme, Create an Inspiration Board 

With the rise of Pinterest, it is a lot easier to daydream about your future wedding(s). Rather than a shoe box filled with ‘likes’, you have a virtual collage of all the ideas you could possibly use for your future nuptials. If you're one of those rare few who haven't started planning your wedding for fear that it may jinx you, get on the internet. Now.  

You need to decide on a style or theme, and this is something your planner/stylist can help you with. With this theme in mind, eliminate all those pins that DO NOT match. Those mason jars will not match your black tie affair, you do not need them. Think of it as wedding planning minimalism—you are removing the unnecessary. 

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Photo by Evelyn Barkey Photography

Set a Budget and Start Saving 

Budgeting is probably the worst. If you have family willing to help with the wedding, this is where you ask them how much. If you two will pay it all yourselves, decide how much you can afford without heading into the poorhouse. Serious note: I absolutely recommend against going into debt just for your wedding. Especially for young couples. 

There are many online resources to help you decide what percentage of your budget should be spent where. Your wedding planner should help track and budget your expenses. MY tip: Choose the top three things that are most important to you and give that a higher percentage. Prioritizing your wedding costs will help you divide your budget and keep you right-side up. Example: For our wedding, our top three are photography, live music, and alcohol - so, that is where we are spending most of our budget. I spent $3 on my shoes because I know I will end up taking them off and throwing them to the side.  

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Photo by Evelyn Barkey Photography of the Outing Lodge

Marriage or Couples' Counseling 

I see this as a preventative act. Usually couples seek counseling once it’s too late, after years of holding it in or miscommunication and then it all falls apart. 

Counseling will be a good way to figure out things together - your love languages, the way you communicate, how your partner receives your communication. Consider this a way to learn more about each other that maybe you wouldn't learn otherwise.   

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Photo by Evelyn Barkey Photography

Ask for Help 

Seriously. Wedding planning is like a second job. If you need help, ask for it. People LOVE helping with wedding stuff. Your fiancé, your friends, your bridal party, your family - they want to help you! No use getting stressed over something by thinking you have to do it by yourself.  

Hire a wedding planner. A wedding planner should be your friend, your guide, your light through this journey. You want to enjoy your engagement; you need to spend this magical time planning your marriage—let someone else plan the big day. 

[ I plan weddings so you can planyourmarriage. ] 

With love, your friend, 

Brittany 

Simply Gypsy Events

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Brittany Sneed is a future bride and the owner of Simply Gypsy Events. Simply Gypsy Events is a boutique wedding planner, stylist, and coordinator based in the Midwest, specializing in destination weddings.


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