Planning a wedding is a lot of work. Even if you are having a small ceremony, or especially if it’s a large shindig, It’s no secret that for many couples one person does almost all of the wedding planning, and the other just wants to know what time to show up, be handed something to wear, and live happily ever after.
We're not here to point any fingers, but most of you probably know where we're going with this. This is, of course, not the case for everyone, but a bride whose groom is not as interested in the process as she is may wonder how to get him more involved. We're not going to promise you that you’ll be able to get your husband-to-be excited about invitation fonts, but let’s talk about some ways to make your groom at least dread wedding planning a little less.
Before we go any farther, it's important to mention that some brides are totally fine with this – they have had their wedding planned for years and were just waiting to “insert groom here.” These brides are maybe even relieved that their groom doesn’t have any opinions whatsoever on the event so they don’t have to compromise their vision.
While having ideas and dreams ahead of time is certainly not a bad thing, we'd like to caution you against the “insert groom here” approach – your wedding should be a celebration of both of you and your unique relationship!
This leads us to the first (and perhaps most important) way to get your groom excited about wedding planning...
1. Actively try to plan an event he can get excited about too!
Remember that half or so of your guests will probably be his friends and family, so it’s important for your wedding to be something he can be excited about inviting his people to attend.
What if your groom insists he doesn’t care about anything, other than that he gets to marry you (aww)? Kiss that man, mark that as another reason you are lucky to be marrying him, and look for details he CAN get excited about. Our suggestion would be to...
2. Start with food
Most of us have pretty strong feelings about what we want to eat, especially for a special occasion, so this is a great place to start with a groom who might think they don’t have any opinions. And he'll definitely like our catering + dessert lists because not only are they delicious but each option offers a money-saving deal. It's a win-win!
3. Ask your groom to be actively involved in choosing what his groomsmen will wear
These are his friends who he has chosen to stand by him for this important occasion, and he probably knows them pretty well.
Reminding him that he (likely) knows these guys better than you do can be a slight nudge to encourage him to think about clothing decisions for his closest friends. Most guys aren’t interested in being teased for the rest of their lives because of what their new wife made their friends wear at the wedding. We've got some great tuxedo + suit options he'll love here!
4. Consider not asking him about things you know he won't care about
If there are details you know for a fact your groom won’t have an opinion on, such as what your bridesmaids will wear, what font the invitations are addressed in, what color the chairs at the reception site will be, or a plethora of other small details.
The fewer things you ask his opinion on, the more likely he will be willing to care about those things. If you stick to asking his opinion on important decisions or things you know he’d like to (or should be) involved with deciding on, there’s a good chance he’ll feel less overwhelmed and be more willing to chime in.
5. Plan the honeymoon together
While this is not entirely “wedding planning” per se, it’s an important part of celebrating the start of your new life together that should not be overlooked.
Some grooms take it upon themselves to plan the entire honeymoon as the bride is focused on the wedding itself, or even make the whole adventure a surprise. If you know he'll need some extra help + assistance, have him contact one of our trusted honeymoon planners (and make sure he asks about their Forever Bride deal so you guys can save money!)
If you’re not going down this path, dedicate plenty of time to dreaming about and planning your honeymoon together. This is not just another vacation, it’s a special time of celebrating your new marriage, relaxing after a crazy engagement/wedding planning period, and coming down off the wedding day high.
Making sure this will be a trip of a lifetime for both of you should be a high priority, and something that even a groom with no opinions on the wedding itself will probably have ideas for.
6. Make wedding planning sessions together fun for him too
Head to his favorite bar to talk details, or chat over dinner at a favorite restaurant before catching a movie or concert he’s been wanting to see. Some ideas: A dinner theatre at Chanhassen Dinner Theatres or really, any of these free/affordable dates!
Remember that the point of this whole season is to marry this man at the end of it, so don’t neglect your relationship in the meantime. Setting aside time to invest in your relationship and have fun together is important, so make a short list of must-discuss items, schedule a time to talk about them, stick to your list, then have some non-wedding related fun together after!
Brides, your groom truly wants you to be happy and if he says he doesn’t care what flowers are in your bouquet, he probably means it. Don’t expect your groom to be as invested in every small detail as you (and your mom and your maid of honor) are.
Finding the balance between annoying your groom by asking him to have an opinion about things he doesn’t care about but making sure the day is enjoyable for you both is a fine line to walk, but well worth the effort.
And most importantly, remember to take a step back from wedding planning to enjoy your engagement season and fiancé. This is a beautiful time in your life, so we have some encourage here on how to be grateful during your engagement season.
photography // Katy Rose Photography