I wish I had a bigger budget. I wish I would’ve thought of that. I wish I had that venue. I wish I had thousands of dollars for florals. I wish I had all those calligraphy signs. I wish I had that perfect & glowy bridal skin. I wish I looked like her.
Have those thoughts of jealousy or discontentment ever run through your head while planning your wedding?
Friends, we’re right there with you. Many of us here at Forever Bride have gotten married, or are currently wedding planning.
A few weeks ago, a group of us started talking about how common it is for brides to compare to other weddings. No matter what your budget is, we all do it. In fact, many of us here in the office thought we were the only ones who had felt that way––or are feeling that way. We quickly realized nobody talks about all the comparing every bride does, or jealousy wedding planning brings, and decided we would be the ones to bring up the taboo topic.
Wedding comparison and jealousy is so common, but why is it that nobody talks about it?
Here at Forever Bride, we believe marriage is even more beautiful than a wedding. When wedding planning, it’s easy to lose sight of that and get caught up in having perfection. It’s easy to look at stunning Pinterest photos, think that their wedding went perfectly (though, we can guarantee that there’s no such thing as a perfect wedding), and drown in jealousy. That’s so dangerous. That can rob you of wedding day joy. Or leave you bitter when looking back on those special memories.
So we’re here to be a positive, guiding hand through its muddy waters.
THINGS TO HELP YOU IN TIMES OF JEALOUSY AND COMPARISON:
1) Write down 10 wedding planning decisions you are so excited about
Literally take out a piece of paper and a pen and physically jot down a list of the parts of the planning process that you are most looking forward to. Put your energy, emotions, and time into these. When you find yourself starting to slip into a time of comparison, let this list be the loving reminder of all that you have to look forward to!
2) Jot down 10 things you are looking forward to in marriage
Keep that sheet of paper out and write down another 10 things of what you are looking forward to in marriage. Sometimes we get so far sucked into planning, that we lose sight of the other side… what it’s even all about in the first place. It’s important to stop, take a breath, and step outside to see the bigger picture.
3. Write down all the things you love about your future spouse
This can be a bullet point list or this can be where you start writing your wedding vows (whether the official vows, a letter you'll privately give him, or simply a way to remember the big picture... it's up to you!)
4. Take a break from it all!
Go for a walk or a run, relax on a mini-moon, grab a book, take a nap, hang out with friends, enjoy a dinner date with your fiancé (no wedding talk though!), go to a PIP workshop, take a road trip, grab a cup of coffee at a new spot in your city… whatever you want to do for however long you need to.
And instead, focus on equipping yourself + your fiancé for a strong marriage.
QUESTIONS TO REFLECT ON TO PREPARE FOR A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE:
- How can I prepare myself to be a wife?
- How is my walk with God?
- How is our walk with God as a couple?
- Am I surrounded by people who love us & truly have our best interest at heart?
- Have we set goals for ourselves and our marriage?
- Do you know each other's “love language(s)”? (If not, pick up a copy of The 5 Love Languages. Such a fascinating and enlightening read!)
This is a space for honesty, vulnerability, and transparency. While we are a tool for wedding planning, we strive to be more than that. We value you and want you to have a beautiful marriage. That’s why we require our trusted vendors offer Forever Bride brides exclusive deals (sign up for free HERE to receive those discounts). Because we believe that hiring the best wedding pros doesn’t need to cost a fortune, hence our mission statement:
“Save money on your dream wedding with the best local vendors."
We’re here for you, and we’re on your side. We’re here to remind you that your wedding is perfect because it’s YOUR wedding (as corny as that sounds) and it’s all about you and fiancé uniting as husband and wife. At the end of the day, all that matters is the lifelong commitment you two are making. Focus more on beautifying your upcoming marriage.
Happy lives aren’t built on gorgeous weddings, after all. Happy lives are rooted on gorgeous, selfless, determined hearts. You're not just a temporary bride, you're a FOREVER bride! It's for life.